I realized recently that becoming a mom has altered my perceptions. Things I would never notice before- stroller brands, the ability of a baby to hold up its own head, bedtimes of the kids etc. are now things I pick up right away when I see other parents.
Different things also bother me- when some salaryman pretends to snooze in the handicapped seats while Akari and I sway with the train right in front of him. When morons makes anti-breastfeeding comments. When well meaning folks especially my relatives give stupid advice.
I know part of it is because I never used to have any opinions about stuff like that. But it seems I've developed all these notions from having been a parent for all of 3 months. hehe
I went to a party at my buddy's house a couple weeks ago. Him and his girlfriend are expecting in November, and they live in a 2LDK (smallish) apartment. Almost the first thing I noticed was that they don't have room in their bedroom for a crib, which I remarked about. To which he replied, "Oh, we're going to make the TV room the baby's room. If we sleep with the baby in our room, it's going to learn to be dependent."
o.O
Honestly, I don't know any independent infants. I don't even know any independent toddlers. Human children rely on their parents for longer than any other species, but they do grow out of it. I don't know how sleeping together for the first few years of its life, when night waking naturally occurs, will make this worse. In fact, sleeping separately is less convenient.
His girlfriend is Japanese and has expressed doubts about the idea of the baby sleeping separately: co-sleeping is the cultural norm. But he's sort of steam rolling over her even she's the one who's going to have to trek over to the baby's room instead of just sitting up, reaching over to the crib, nursing, and putting baby back down again while both of them are still drowsy. She also won't be able to hear the baby until it's wide awake and crying, and then it's a lot harder for both of them to get back to sleep. And she has to go back to work 6 weeks postpartum.
I hope she changes his mind so that she can get a bit more rest. My husband doesn't even wake up during Akari's night feedings, because she doesn't have to cry in order to signal that she's hungry- I can hear her stirring and nurse her before she gets to that point, so he gets a full night's sleep. And the sex part (which is what I'm betting my friend is more concerned about)- well, we have the rest of the house or we can capitalize on the afternoon naps she's starting to take. No, it's not as convenient- but since when was life with kids CONVENIENT? What I realize more and more is just how much responsibility it is- can't go to the doctor or even the toilet without thinking of her first. And it'll be like this for years! The more I think about it, the more I think how carefree and selfish I was before becoming a parent. In fact, I really didn't consider the whole scope of it until we'd already had her.
My sister had a baby 2 days ago. Wonder if I should share this sobering realization.
Oooh, and naptime's over.